M. AND. Lopukhina (The second half of October 1832 r. From St. Petersburg to Moscow)

I am extremely sorry that my letter to my cousin is lost as well as yours for grandmother; - my cousin thought maybe I did the lazy, or that I am lying by saying that I wrote; but neither one nor the other would be fair to share; because I like it, too much to slip away with a lie, and, that you can prove it, I'm not lazy to write; I justify myself maybe with the same letter, and otherwise, I beg you to do it for me; the day after tomorrow I take an exam and am buried in mathematics. - Tell him to write to me sometimes; his letters are so friendly.
I can not imagine yet, what effect will produce about my great new; me, which until now had lived for literary career, after having sacrificed so much for my ungrateful idol, now I'm getting warrior; - maybe do want the special providence! - perhaps this path is the shortest; and if it does not lead me to my goal, maybe me he will lead the top of everyone. Dying a lead bullet in the heart, worth a slow old agony; - as well, if war, I swear by god to be the first everywhere. - Say, You're welcome, Alexis that I will send him a gift he does not suspect; he had long ago wanted something similar; and I send him the same thing, only ten times better; - Now I do not write it, because I do not have time; in a few days review; once inside I knock you letters, and I urge you all, and all, to retaliate me; - miss Sophie promised to write to me soon after arrival; would the saint of Voronège have advised him to forget me? Tell him I would like to hear from him. - What does a letter cost? - a half hour! And it does not come to school Guardes; - really I did that night; - you, This is another thing; it seems to me that, if I do not communicate you something important, happened to my person, I am deprived of half of my resolution. - Believe or not, but this is entirely true; I do not know why, but when I get a letter from you, I can not help but respond immediately, like I told you.
farewell, Dear friend; I do not say goodbye, since I can not hope to see you here, and between me and the expensive Moscow there are insurmountable barriers, that fate seems to want to increase day by day. – Adieu, do not be lazier you have so far been, and I will be pleased with you; Now I need your letters more than ever: imprisoned as will, this will be my greatest pleasure; this alone could link my past with my future, which is already in everyone going on his side, leaving between them a barrier 2 sad, difficult years; you take on this boring task, but charitable, and you will prevent a lifetime to demolish; - to you alone I can say what I think, good or bad, I've proven by my confession; and you must not stay behind; you should not - because this is not a complacency that I ask you, but a blessing. - I was worried a few days ago, Now I am no longer: everything is finished; I lived, I matured too early; and the days that follow will be empty of sensations ...

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Mikhail Lermontov
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