M. BUT. Lopukhina (the end 1838 r. From St. Petersburg to Moscow)

Long ago, dear and good friend, I have written to you and that you have given me news of your dear person and all yours; I also hope that your response to this letter will not be long wait: there is conceit in this sentence, you say; but you go wrong. I know you are convinced that your letters give me great pleasure as you use silence as punishment; but I do not deserve this punishment because I constantly thought of you, evidence: I asked for a half a year, - refuse, of 28 days - refused, of 14 days - the Grand Duke refused to even; All this time I was in hope to see you; I still make an attempt - God wants it to succeed. - I must tell you that I am the most unfortunate of men, and believe me when I tell you that I'm going every day to the ball: I started in the big -monde; for a month I was in fashion, it tore me. It is open at least. - All these people that I swore in my verses likes to surround myself with flatteries; the most beautiful women and ask me to boast as a triumph. - But I miss. - aj I asked to go to the Caucasus - refused. - They will not even let me kill. Perhaps, Dear friend, these complaints they appear not you in good faith? - maybe you appear there strange that seeks the pleasures to be bored, one runs the salons when there is nothing interesting? - well I will tell you my motive: you know that my biggest weakness is vanity and self-love: there was a time when I sought to be admitted to this company as a novice, I did not succeed; aristocratic doors closed to me: and now I enter the same either in society Solicitor, but a man who has conquered his rights; I excites curiosity; we look me, we undertake all, without that I make mine the same desire; women who wish to have a remarkable living want me, because I am also a lion, Yes, me - your Michel, good boy, which you never thought a mane. - Agree that all this can intoxicate. Fortunately my natural laziness takes over; and gradually I began to find it all too unbearable: but this new experience has done me good, in that it gave me weapons against this company, and if she follows me from his calumnies (what will happen) I shall at least have the means of revenge; certainly nowhere because there is so much baseness and ridiculous. I am sure you will not tell anyone my boasting, because we still find me more ridiculous than that it is, and then with you as I speak with my conscience, and that's so sweet of laughter under the cloak briguées things and envied by fools, with someone who, we know it, toujors is ready to share your feelings; it's you I speak, Dear friend, I tell you, because this passage is so little dark.
But you will write to me is not it? - I'm sure you have not written to me for some grave reason? - Are you sick? Are there anyone sick in the family? I fear it. I was told something similar. In the next week I await your response, which I hope will not shorter than my letter, and certainly better written, because I fear that you do not know decipher daub.
Adieu, Dear friend, Maybe if God wants to reward me I will be able to have a half, and then I'll always be sure of such-what response.
My greetings to all those who have not forgotten me. - All yours
M. Lermontoff.

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Mikhail Lermontov
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