19 June, Petersburg.
I received both your letters yesterday, Dear friend, and I - devoured; it's been so long since I heard from you; yesterday it was the last Sunday I spent in town, for tomorrow (mardi) we are going to camp for two months; - I write sitting on a school bench amid the noise of preparations, etc… – Vous serez, that I believe, glad to hear, what, having gone to school for two months, I underwent my review, for the I-st class, and am, one of the first ... it still harbors the hope of a future free! –
But we must absolutely I tell you a strange thing; Saturday before I wake I see in a dream, I'm in your house; you are sitting on the large living room sofa; I approach you to ask, if you definitely want me to quarrel with you - but without an answer have reached out to me; evening we are left from; I arrived home - and I find your letters. It strikes me! – je voudrais savoir: what were you doing that day? –
Now I must explain why I address this letter to Moscow and not in the countryside; I left your letter at home and address with; and as nobody knows where I keep your letters, I can not get them here.
You ask me what does the phrase about the wedding of Prince: hanged himself, or marries! – ma parole d’honneur que je ne me rappelle pas avoir écrit quelque chose de semblable. For I have too good an opinion of the prince and I am sure he is not one of those who choose the promised post a record;
– Dites je vous prie à ma cousine que l’hiver prochain elle aura un cavalier aimable et beau: Jean is Vatkofsky officer of the guard; and all because his colonel marries his sister! – et dites après qu’il n’y a pas de hasard dans ce bas monde.
Tell me with open heart: you shunned me awhile? – et bien puisque c’est fini n’en parlons plus – adieu, we wonder - because the General arrived. –
My compliments to everyone.
It is late; I found a moment of leisure to continue this letter. There are so many things that have happened to me since I have written to you, so many strange things, I do not know myself, what route I'll take: that of vice or folly; While both often lead to the same goal; - I know you exhort me, as you try to comfort me - that would be too! I'm happier than ever, more gay than the first drunken singing in the street! – Les termes vous déplaisent – mais hélas: tell me who haunt you I will tell you who you are! - I think you miss S. is false, for I know that you will never say of all the falsity more if it is evil! – que dieu la bénisse! – quant aux autres choses que j’aurais pu vous écrire, – je guarde le silence, thinking that many words are not worth a share, and as I am lazy by nature, and you know, Dear friend, I fall asleep on my laurels, putting a tragic end to my actions and words at a time
M. BUT. Lopukhina (19 June 1833 r. From St. Petersburg to Moscow)
19 June, Petersburg.