My dear Cousine!
I decided to pay you a debt that you have not had the kindness to call, and I hope that this generosity on my part will touch your heart become so hard for me for some time; I ask in return a few drops of ink and two or three strokes of the pen to tell me that I'm not entirely banished from your remembrance; - otherwise I will be forced to seek consolation elsewhere (because here also I have cousins) - and the least loving woman (it's known) n’aime pas beaucoup qu’on cherche des consolations loin d’elle. – Et puis si vous perséverez encore dans votre silence, I may soon arrive in Moscow - and then my vengeance will have no bounds; makes war (you know) one household the garrison capitulated, but the storming city is mercilessly abandoned to the fury of the victors.
After this bravado to the hussar, I throw myself at your feet to beg my pardon until you do it to me.
Finished preliminary, I begin to tell you what happened to me during that time, as is done by reviewing after a long separation.
Alexis could you say something about my way of living, but nothing interesting if this is the beginning of my love affairs with M-lle Souchkoff, whose end is much more interesting and funny. If I started to court her, it was not a reflection of the past - before it was an opportunity to take care, and then when we were on good terms, it became a calculation: – voilà comment. – J’ai vu en entrant dans le monde que chacun avait son piédestal: a fortune, a name, a title, a favor ... I saw that if I could take care of me a person, others take care of me insensibly, curiosity before, by rivalry after.
– La demoiselle S. – voulant m’attraper (technical word), I understood it to me easily comprometterait; - I also compromised as much as possible, without compromising myself with, the public dealing and me, making him feel that only the means for subjecting me ... When I saw that it worked for me, but that no more lost me, I try a hand. Before I became colder the world's eyes, and tender with her to see that I no longer loved her, and she loves me (which is not true at the bottom); and when she began to notice and tried to shake off the yoke, I abandoned the first publicly, I became tough and sassy, mocking and cold with it before the world, I made the court to others and told them (secretly) the part, supported me, de cette histoire. – Elle fut si confondue de cette conduite inattendue – que d’abord elle ne sut que faire et se résigna – ce qui fit parler et me donna l’air d’avoir fait une conquête entière; then she woke up - and began to scold me everywhere - but I had warned - and his hatred seemed to her friends (or enemy) love dive. - Then she tried to get me through a feigned sadness and saying all my intimate knowledge she loved me - not returned - and took advantage of all skillfully. I can not tell you how all this served me - it would be too long, and it looks at people you do not know. But here's the fun part of the story: when I saw that he had to break it to the world and yet seem faithful head-to-head, soon I found a charming way; - I wrote an anonymous letter: «M-lle: I'm a man who knows you and you do not know, etc ... I warn you to beware of this young man: M. L. – il vous séduira – etc… voilà les preuves (nonsense) etc…» une lettre sur 4 pages!.. I made deftly dropped the letter into the hands of the aunt; orage et tonnerre dans la maison. – Le lendemain j’y vais de grand matin pour que en tout cas je ne sois pas reçu. – Le soir à un bal, I am surprised by telling him to miss; mad
Finally you see that I am avenged tears that coquetry of m-lle S. made me pay there 5 years; oh! But is that our accounts are not yet settled: it hurts the heart of a child, and I've only torture own love of an old coquette, perhaps even more ... yet, what I get is that it served me something! – oh c’est que je suis bien changé; is that, I do not know how come, but every day brings a new color to my character and my way of seeing! – ça devait arriver, I always knew ... but I do not think it happen so fast. Oh, Dear cousin, you must admit, cause I did not write you more, you and M-Miss Mary, is the fear that you notice in my letters I'm hardly worthy of your friendship ... for both of you I can not hide the truth, to you who were confidants of my youthful dreams, so beautiful - especially in the memory.
Yet to see me now it looks like I'm rejuvenated 3 years, so I look happy and carefree, happy with myself and the entire universe; this contrast between the soul and the outside do it not seem strange? –
I can not tell you how much the starting grandmother grieve, – la perspective de me voir tout-à-fait seul la première fois de ma vie m’effraye; throughout this great city there will not be a being who is truly interested in me ...
But enough about my sad person - let's talk about you and Moscow. I was told that you have a lot beautified, and it is M-Ouglitzki me who said; only in this case I'm sure she did not lie, as it is too for that woman: she said again that his brother's wife is charming in this ... I do not think it is entirely, because it interests lie ... what's funny is that she wants to be unhappy at all costs, to attract the sympathies of everyone, – tandis que je suis sûr qu’il n’y a pas au monde une femme qui soit moins à plaindre… à 32 years have this child character, and imagine yet to passions!.. – et après cela se plaindre? – Elle m’a annoncé encore que mademoiselle Barbe allait se marier avec M. Bachmétieff; I do not know if I should believe it too - but in any case I wish M-Ile Barbe to live in peace until famously married his silver wedding, – et même plus, so far it is not yet disgusted!..
Now here's my new, Natalia Alekseevna with chady and household s'en va aux pays étrangers!!! OFFER!.. It will give out there a famous idea of our Russian ladies!..
Tell her passion Alexis M-lle Ladigenski becomes daily more wonderful day!.. I also advise them to fertilize again for the contrast is not so striking. I do not know how to get bored is the best for my grace; my eighth page is going to end and I am afraid to start a tenth and therefore ..., dear and cruel cousin, adieu, and really if you gave me in your favor, let me know, by a letter from your home, – car je n’ose pas compter sur un billet de votre main.
farewell, I have the honor of being what you put at the bottom of a letter ...
your very humble
P. S. My respects I took you to my aunt, cousins, and cousins, and knowledge ...
BUT. M. Vereshchagin (Spring 1835 r. From St. Petersburg to Moscow)
My dear Cousine!