The Lady of his love was wed with one.
Who did not love better …………
…And this the world calls phrensy, but the wise
Have a far deeper madness, and the glance
Of melancoly is a fearful gift;
What is it but the telescope of truth?
Which strips the distance of its phantasies,
And brings life near in utter nakedness,
Making the cold reality too real!..
(The Dream. Lord Byron).
I decided to present the dramatic true incident, which bothered me for a long time and a lifetime, may be, occupy stops.
person, shown me, all taken from nature; and I would like to, that they were recognized, - then repentance, right, visit the souls of those people ... But let them not blame me: I wanted, I had to justify the unfortunate shadow!..
Whether it is right described in my society? - I do not know! At least it will always be for me meeting insensitive people, selfish in the extreme and full of envy of those, in the shower which is stored at the slightest spark of heavenly fire!..
And this society, I put myself on the court.
(Room in the house of Paul G. Arbenina. A bookcase and desk.)
(The action takes place in Moscow.)
(Paul Grigorich seals the letter.)
Paul Grigorich . they say, children a burden to us, while they are young; but I think quite the contrary. One must take care of the child, teach and nurse him, and 20-year-old is defined in the service so every minute tremble, him to a sort of a prank is not ruined forever myself and the good name. Admit: my position is now the most critical. Vladimir does not suit to the military service, First of all, because his character, as he says, too headstrong, and secondly, because he is not good at math: where do decide? plain-clothes? All the best places are occupied, besides ... not good!.. Now bring up the most difficult thing; think: Well, Now everything is over! - there it was: just beginning!.. I'm afraid, Vladimir has not lost to a good reputation in the big world, where I worked so hard to achieved some significant. Then I'm going to blame; I would say the same about, like the other day,, I do not raise it according to the nature. What in his character summer? Most of his character is the lack of character. So: I see, I not quite strictly kept my son. what is the use, so early developed his feelings and thoughts?.. However, I will not leave its plans. I tell him to resign in four years, and then I marry an heiress and will correct the condition it. It is by the grace of my beloved wife very upset; I can not recall without rabies, she cheated on me. ABOUT! cunning woman! You will feel all the burden of my vengeance; in poverty, with remorse in my heart and no hope for the future, you will die far from my eyes. I never dare to see you again. Did I do everything, what she wanted? And a husband to dishonor! I am very happy, that she had no close relatives, that would help. (Silence.) it seems, someone is here ... so sure ...
(Included Vladimir Arbenin.)
Vladimir . Father! Hello…
Paul Grigorich . I am very happy, Now that you have come. Coy we talk about what: it comes to the future of your fate ... But you something cheerless, My friend! Where were you?
Vladimir (throwing fast and grim look on his father). Where I was, father?
Paul Grigorich . What does this gloomy view? So whether meet his father petting?
Vladimir . Otgadayte, where I was?..
Paul Grigorich . In some you like varmint, where you lose your money, or have some beautiful, that upset you by refusing. What other adventures can bother you? it seems, I guessed ...
Vladimir . I was there, where the fun too far; I saw one woman, weak, sick, which in the old offense left her husband and family; it - almost a beggar; the whole world is laughing at her, and none of it does not regret ... About! Father! This soul deserved forgiveness and a different fate! Father! I have seen the bitter tears of repentance, I prayed with her, I hugged her knee, I ... I was with my mother ... what you more?
Paul Grigorich . You?..
Vladimir . ABOUT, if you knew, if I have seen my father ...! You do not understand this tender, divine soul; or you are unfair, unfair ... I will repeat it in front of the whole world, and so loudly, that the angels will hear and be in anguish because of human cruelty ...
Paul Grigorich (his face is glowing). dare you!.. accuse me, ungrateful ...
Vladimir . No! You forgive me!.. I myself do not remember ... But judge for yourself: How could I stay cool? I agree, she insulted you, unforgivable insult; but what did she do to me? On her knees leaked early years of my childhood, her name along with your speech was the first mine, her caresses eased my first illness ... and now, when it is in poverty, I came here, I could not fall at her feet ... Father! She wants to see you ... I implore ... if my happiness means anything ... One of its pure tears wash away the black suspicion from your heart and remove prejudices!..
Paul Grigorich . Listen, audacious! I'm not angry at her; but I do not want, should no longer see her! What will they say in the light of?..
Vladimir (biting his lip). What will they say in the light of!..
Paul Grigorich . And you made a very bad, my son, do not tell me, when I went to Mare1 Dmitrevne; I would have given you preporuchene ...
Vladimir . Which would have killed her last hope? Is not it?..
Paul Grigorich . Yes, Yes! She has not quite been punished ... this siren, This wretched woman ...
Vladimir . She is my mother.
Paul Grigorich . If you see her again, advise her not to come to me and do not try to beg for forgiveness, to me, and she was not shameful to meet, than it was to leave.
Vladimir . My father! I'm not made for such preporucheny.
Paul Grigorich (cold smile). So much for that. Who of us is right or wrong, do not you judge. An hour later, come to my office: where I'll show you recently submitted a paper, which relate to you ... Also, I'll let you read the letter from the Count about the definition of service in. And I beg you not to tell me anything more about his mother - I'm, when I can tell! (Leaves.) (Vladimir stares after him.)
Vladimir . How glad he, it has the right to give me orders! Christ! Do not you bother me extra prayers; now I ask: stop this feud! Funny for me people! Quarrel trivia and deposited hour reconciliation, as if it were a thing, you always have time to do! No, see, be cruel, to live with people; they think, I created to meet their whims, I am a means to achieve their goals stupid! Nobody understands me, no one knows how to deal with this heart, which is full of love and forced to waste it in vain!..
(Included Belinsky, discharged.) 2
Belinsky . BUT! Hi, Arbenin ... hello, dear friend! With so thoughtful? What to count the stars, who can be considered specie? Views on me; byus bet, I guessed, What were you thinking about.
Vladimir . hand! (Shakes his hand.)
Belinsky . Have you thought about, how to make a woman love or get her to confess, she pretended. Both are very wise, but I soon undertake to make the first, than last, because…
Vladimir . What are you talking about here?
Belinsky . About what? On poglupel or ogloh! I spoke of King Solomon, who extolled moderation and advised to fast, and he was not the last Skoromnik ha ...! ha! ha!.. You, right, I waited, to your dear to you I flew on the wings of a zephyr ... no, bother-ka himself fly. My friend! Women who plead? Per minute, when do you think ...
Vladimir (interrupts). Where were you yesterday?
Belinsky . A musical evening, so to speak. Children did father a surprise on his birthday; they played on different instruments, for them and for the father's very good. Despite, guests, which was a lot of, it was very boring.
Vladimir . funny people! Thus silly conceit always poisons nepotism pleasure.
Belinsky . My father was delighted and paid to each eye with different gestures; each answered him by bowing his head and a pretty smile, and, catches of time, when the poor father turned in the opposite direction, each yawned mercy ... I seemed miserable the father and his children.
Vladimir . And I feel sorry for the shameless guests; I can not see with indifference this contempt for happiness neighbor, of whatever kind it may be. Everyone wants, others to be happy in their way of thinking, - and thus bite heart, without the means to heal. I would be willing to completely withdraw from the people, but the habit does not allow me ... When I'm alone, it seems to me, that nobody loves me, no one cares about me, and ..., it is so hard, so hard!..
Belinsky . Mother! fully, brother, say nothing. Comrades, you all love ... and if there are any other troubles, it must be able to transfer them to the hardness ... everything passes, evil, how good ...
Vladimir . carry! carry! How long is asserting humanity, even though they know, that almost no one follows these exhortations ... Once I was happy, innocent, but those days are too long been connected with the past, to the memory of them could comfort me. All my real life is made up of a few moments, and all the rest of the time was only a consequence of the preparation or so moments ... it is difficult to understand my dreams, I see my friend ...! Where do I find the, that forced to seek?
Belinsky . In my heart. Do you have a great source of happiness, Be able to draw from it only. You have a bad habit viewed from all sides, dissect every crumb of grief, that fate sends you; learn to despise trouble, enjoy the present, do not worry about the future and not to regret the past. All a habit in people, and you more, than other; why not get behind, if you see, that objective can not be achieved. No! Take out so positive. And who, after suffering?
Vladimir . Do not judge so lightly. Please understand my situation better. Do you know, I sometimes envy orphans; Sometimes it seems to me, my parents argue about my love, and sometimes, that they do not value it. They know, I love them, how can he love son. No! What for, when they look askance at each other, what is the essence of, who would like to connect them again, pour all the young flame of his love in their hearts prejudiced! My friend! Dmitriy! I should not say so, but you know everything, all; and you I can verify that, it is the misfortune of my life, that soon would bring me to the grave or madness.
Belinsky . thus increasing Around, he lowered his head into the water and pulled, and at that time 14-Tew years aged;3 and you in a short time terribly changed. Tell me, how are your amorous adventures? you frowned? Tell: how long have you seen her?..
Vladimir . Long.
Belinsky . Where Zagorskiny live? Their two sisters, no father? Is not it?
Vladimir . So.
Belinsky . Introduce me to them. They come in the evening, points?
Vladimir . No.
Belinsky . And I thought ... but still does not prevent ... Introduce me ...
Vladimir . if you please.
Belinsky . Tell me the story of your love.
Vladimir . She is very ordinary and you will not take!..
Belinsky . Do you know my cousin Zagorskinyh, Princess? That's a very pretty girl and prelyubeznaya.
Vladimir . May be. For the first time, I saw her, I felt some antipathy; I thought ill of her, he had not heard a single word from her. Do you know, I believe premonitions.
Belinsky . unenlightened!..
Vladimir . The other day I rode; the horse does not want to go to Gate; I spurred her, she ran, and a little bit I did not hit his head on a pillar. Similarly, and with the soul: sometimes feel aversion to someone, forced himself to do kindly, You want to love a man ... and look, he'll flesh perfidy and ingratitude!..
Belinsky (He looks at the clock). Brother, Oh my God! And I for a long time because it's time to go. I ran to you because for a second ...
Vladimir . I see it. Where are you in a hurry?
Belinsky . By Earl Pronsk - deadly boredom! And we must go ...
Vladimir . Why do ought?
Belinsky . Yes, so ...
Vladimir . important reason. Well, goodbye.
Belinsky . Goodbye. (Leaves.)
Vladimir . Belinsky's love for his cheerful character! (Going back and forth.) As my head upset; all in a mess in it, in the house, where the owner was drunk. I'll go ... I'll see Natasha, this angel! eyes women, like a ray of the month, unwittingly causes my peace of mind in the chest. (He sits down and takes out a paper from his pocket.) strangely! Yesterday, I found it in his papers and was amazed. Everytime, how to look at this piece, I feel the presence of supernatural forces and an unknown voice whispers to me: "Do not try to avoid the fate of their! That is how it should be!"A year ago,, seeing her for the first time, I wrote about it in a comment. She then had an influence on me charity, And now - now, remember when, then all the blood comes into the excitement. And sorry, Why I'm not so good, Why is my soul so pure, I wish I could. May be, she loves Me; her eyes, blush, words ... what I am baby! - all this I'm so memorable, so expensive, like one of her looks and words, I live in the world. What benefits? So this is the end, I expected last year!.. Christ! Christ! What my heart desires? When I'm away from it, then I imagine, I tell her that, how warmly clench her hand, I like to remind about the past, about all the little things ... And only with it - all is forgotten; I'm an idol! Soul drowned in the eyes; lost everything: hope, salvation, Oh the memories ...! What I'm a little man! I can not even tell her, I love it, that she was dearer to me than life; I can not say anything worthwhile, when I sit against the wonderful creatures of! (With a bitter smile,) Something will end my life, and it began badly. However, does it matter, with some memories I'll go to the grave. ABOUT! As much as I wanted to indulge in the pleasures and sink into their stream of a heavy burden of self-knowledge, that from infancy was my destiny! (It goes quiet.)